Meditations Books 1-6
Pensées pour moi-même
(Thoughts to Myself)
(English)
Author: Marcus
Aurelius 170-180
French Translator:
Jules Barthélemy-Saint-Hilaire 1876
Translator/Editor: Nik Marcel 2018
English translated from French.
Copyright
© 2018 Nik Marcel
All
rights reserved.
A Bilingual (Dual-Language) Project
2Language Books
Meditations Books 1-6
Thoughts to Myself
Book 1
I Models that I received from my grandfather Verus,
who is not affected by anger: goodness and gentleness.
II From the father who gave me life: modesty and
manliness, at least if I rely on the reputation that he left, and on the
personal memory that I have of him.
III From my mother: piety and generosity; the habit
of refraining not only from doing evil, but even from ever conceiving the
thought of it; and also, the simplicity of life, so far from the ordinary pomp
of opulent people.
IV To my great-grandfather, I am indebted for not
having attended public schools, for having profited from the lessons of excellent
teachers at home, and for having learned for myself that, for the education of
children, no expense must be spared.
V To my tutor, for never having been of the faction
of the Greens or the Blues, nor that of the Small-shields or the Great-shields.
He also showed me how to endure fatigue, to limit my needs, to do much by
myself, to reduce the number of affairs, and to welcome denunciations only with
difficulty.
VI To Diognetus, I was indebted for not applying
myself to trivial things; for never believing in all that sorcerers and
charlatans uttered about their incantations and conjurations of demons, nor in
so many other equally false inventions.
I was also indebted to him for not enjoying raising
fighting quails, and for not having a passion for these puerilities; for
knowing how to tolerate the frankness of those who speak to me; for developing
the taste for philosophy; for following at first the lessons of Bacchius, and
then those of Tandasis and Marcien; for composing dialogues from my childhood,
and for making a delight of the simple wooden bed, of simple leather, and of
all the utensils that comprise the discipline of the Greek philosophers.
VII. To Rusticus, I was indebted for realising that
I had to straighten and keep watch over my mood; for not yielding to the
passions of sophistry; for not writing about the speculative sciences; for not
declaiming little vain sermons; for not seeking to capture people’s
imaginations by portraying myself as a man full of activity or benevolence; for
refraining from all rhetoric, from all poetry, and from all affectation in
style.
I am still indebted to him for not being so silly
as to wander about in my trailing robe at home, and for refraining from similar
habits; for writing my correspondence without any pretension, in the style of
the letter that he himself wrote to my mother from Sinuessa.
He also showed me to be always ready to send for,
or to welcome, those who had grieved or ignored me, as soon as they were
themselves inclined to reconcile; to always pay great attention to my reading,
and to not be content with half understanding what I was reading; to not agree
too quickly to the proposals that were made to me.
Finally, I am indebted to him for becoming
acquainted with the commentaries of Epictetus, which he lent me from his own
library.
VIII From Apollonius, I learned to have a free
spirit and to be firm without hesitation; to look only at reason, without
deviating from it for a single moment; to always preserve a perfect evenness of
soul against the most acute pains, the loss of a child for example, or long
illnesses.
I have seen clearly in him, as a living example,
that the same person may be both full of resolution and easiness; and that one
cannot be uncouth in teaching.
He gave me the brilliant spectacle of a man who
regards knowing how to transmit knowledge to others — with a rare experience
and while rushing about — as the least of his qualities.
It was he again who taught me the art of receiving
favours from my friends, without being belittled by them, and without appearing
insensitive to them when I did not believe that I had to accept them.
IX From Sextus, I learned what benevolence is, a
paternally governed family, and the true meaning of the precept ‘Live according
to nature’; seriousness without pretention; the attentiveness that divines the
needs of our friends; patience to put up with meddlers and their unreflective
remarks.
I was able to observe the faculty of getting on so
well with everybody that his simple dealings seemed more agreeable than any
flattery could be, and that those who conversed with him never had more respect
for him than during these encounters; the ability to grasp, to find, along the
way, and to classify the precepts necessary for the practice of life; the
sensitivity to never display anger nor any other excessive passion; the talent
of being both the most impassive and the most affectionate of men; the capacity
to speak well of people but without fuss; finally an immense education without
ostentation.
X Through the example of Alexander the grammarian,
I learned never to shock people, to not offend them by a hurtful abruptness for
a barbarism they would have committed, for an incorrect turn of phrase or a
brutal pronunciation that would have slipped out; but to adroitly arrange
myself in the conversation so that the word that ought to have been chosen
first, reappears, by way of answer or confirmation, by giving my opinion on the
thing without making reference to the unfortunate expression, or by carefully
taking a detour in order to conceal the allusion.
XI Thanks to Fronton, I was able to observe that a
tyrant can feel extreme jealousy, and can be extremely hypocritical and
deceitful, and that those whom we call patricians have, for the most part,
little kindness and affection in the heart.
XII From Alexander the Platonist, I learned not to
say to people constantly and without necessity, when I speak to them or respond
to them by letter: “I do not have the time”; and to not constantly decline, (by
this easy excuse,) my various duties towards those who live with me, by
alleging that I have urgent matters to attend to.
XIII. From Catulus, I learned never to neglect the
complaints of a friend, even when he complains without motive, but to try
everything to soften him and restore the former intimacy.
He also taught me to praise my masters
wholeheartedly, as was customary to do, as was reported of Domitius and
Athenodotus; and to feel the most sincere devotion for my children.
XIV From my brother Severus, I learned to love
family, to love the truth, to love the righteous; thanks to him, I have
appreciated Thrasea, Helvidius, Cato, Dion and Brutus; I was able to conceive
of what might be a state where there would be complete equality of laws, with
equality among citizens enjoying equal rights; and the idea of a royalty that
would above all respect the freedom of the subjects.
It was he who taught me to devote myself
steadfastly to philosophy; to be benevolent; to give without growing weary; to
always maintain good hope; to trust the affection of my friends; to no longer
hide anything from those who had reconciled, after their pardon; not to force
my (constantly worried) close friends to wonder, “What does he want? What does
he not want?”, but to always be clear and open with them.
XV From Maximus, I learned what it is to be master
of oneself; to never remain undecided; to bear all trials willingly, including
diseases; to temper one’s character with a mixture of amenity and manners; to
carry out all the obligations one has without haggling; to fill everyone with
the conviction that, when one speaks, one always says what one thinks, and
that, when one acts, one intends to do well; not to be surprised at anything;
not to become flustered; to never hurry or give oneself over to indolence; to
never be disconcerted in despair by letting oneself go and by destroying
oneself; or not to regain courage and an exaggerated confidence too suddenly;
to be helpful and turn readily to forbearance; in a word, to give the idea of a
man who does not change rather than that of a man who reforms, of someone whom
no one has ever thought to be despised, and whom no one ever considered
superior; finally, to try to be friendly towards everyone.
XVI From my adoptive father, I learned kindness;
unshakable constancy in judgments that have been ripened by reflection; disdain
for those artificial honours that appeal to vanity; passion for work; perpetual
application; the willingness to listen to all ideas that concern the public
interest; the unwavering ability to give to each according to merit; the
discernment to judge the occasions when one must stretch the springs and those
when one can loosen them; the sternness to prosecute and punish loves for young
people; devotion to the good of the state.
I was able to observe the liberty that he allowed
his friends, without necessarily compelling them to share all his meals, or to
follow him on all his voyages; absolute evenness of temper, even when meeting
people after a long absence; the conscientious analysis of things in all
deliberations; the persistence to not stray from his examination, by contenting
himself with the first solutions that presented themselves; devotion to his
friends — as little inclined to get sick of them for no reason as to love them
fervently; independence of mind in all things, and serenity; far-sighted
foresight and the vigilance to look after the smallest details, without
tragically making a show of it; the precaution of repelling popular
acclamations and flattery in all its forms; the economy to use the resources
necessary for governance sparingly; restraint in the expenses for celebrations,
always ready to suffer the criticisms in this regard; piety without
superstition towards the gods; respect for the people, that he never tired of
his adulations or his eagerness to try to please the crowd; sober measure in
all things; solid respect for all proprieties, without a too lively taste for
novelties; the use, without pomp and also without pretention, of the things
that make life sweeter, on the occasions when it is chance that offers them,
taking them with indifference when they came to be close at hand, and having no
need of them if they were lacking; the attitude of someone about whom it cannot
be said that he is a sophist, nor that he is a provincial, nor that he is
infatuated with schooling, but of a man about whom it is said that he is mature
and complete, above flattery, capable of managing his own affairs, and the
affairs of others.
Add to this esteem for true philosophers; leniency
free from blame for the so-called philosophers, without ever being their dupe
mind you; easy dealings; good grace without dullness; a moderate care of
himself, as it should be when one is not too much in love with life, without
thinking of enhancing his advantages, but also without negligence, so as to
almost never have any need, thanks to this very individual regime, neither of
medicine, nor of internal or external remedies; the extreme ease of stepping
aside, without jealousy, in the presence of persons who had acquired some sort
of superiority, whether in eloquence, or in detailed knowledge of laws, morals,
and matters of that kind; the condescension that goes with their efforts to
enunciate them, each in their special domain; in all things, faithfulness to
the traditions of the ancestors, without, moreover, wishing to appear to be
insisting on this; a mind that was neither mobile nor agitated, but capable of
enduring the monotony of places and things; resuming the usual occupations, as
soon as the cruel headaches permitted, with more ardour and liveliness than
ever; not having many secrets which belonged to him, and these secrets — in
very small numbers, and very rare — scarcely concerning anything other than the
state; circumspect and very cautious in the celebration of solemn festivals, in
the development of public works, in the distributions to the people; and when
he thought them necessary, having in mind what appropriateness really required
rather than the renown he could derive for what he would have done; never
taking baths outside regular hours; without passion for buildings; giving no
thought whatsoever to the composition of his meals, nor to the quality or
colour of his clothes, nor to the beauty of his people.
His clothes were made of wool from Lorium, his
little farm, and also of wool from Lanuvium; the coat that he wore at Tusculum
was borrowed; and his entire manner was so simple.
Never anything hard, nothing even abrupt, nothing
hurried, and as the proverb goes, ‘Never working up a sweat’; but everything
done with full reflection, as if at leisure, without the slightest trouble, in
an absolute order, robustly, and in harmonious correspondence with all parties.
It is to him that this praise, formerly addressed
to Socrates, applies: ‘that he knew how to refrain from, and enjoy, those
things which most men refrain from only reluctantly, and which they enjoy by
giving themselves over to it with drunkenness.’
To remain strong in both encounters, to constantly
conserve one’s vigour and temperance, belongs only to the man who has a firm
and invincible soul, as was my father during Maximus’ illness.
XVII I am indebted to the Gods for having had good
grandparents, good parents, a good sister, good teachers, servants, relations,
acquaintances, and friends, all of whom were equally good, almost without
exception.
With regard to none of them have I ever allowed myself
to indulge in some impropriety, although by natural disposition, I was rather
inclined to commit such errors; but the clemency of the Gods would have it that
such a combination of circumstances, which could reveal in me this evil
penchant, never transpired.
Thanks to them again, I did not stay too long with
my grandfather’s concubine; I was able to save the flower of my youth, without
proving my manhood before the right time; in this regard, I was even able to
gain a little time; to live under the authority of a prince and a father who
was able to root out all pride in me, and lead me to be convinced that one can,
while living in a palace, have no need of guards, nor bright outfits, nor
lamps, nor statues, nor all that useless pomp, and that one can always arrange
things so as to get as close as possible to the private condition, without
having more shyness or weakness for it, when orders must be given in the name
of the public interest.
The Gods also gave me a brother, whose character
was made to awaken my vigilance over myself, and who at the same time made me
happy by the trust and affection he showed me.
Thanks to them too, I did not experience the
misfortune of having troublesome or deformed children; I did not go further
than was necessary in rhetoric, in politics, and in so many other studies where
I would have perhaps been delayed inordinately, if I had found that I was
making easy progress.
I hastened to elevate all the teachers who had
educated me to the honours that they seemed to desire, and I did not string
them along with the hope that, since they were still young, it would only be
later that I would take care of them.
The gods accorded me the favour of knowing
Apollonius, Rusticus, and Maximus, who gave me a clear and luminous idea of
what life must be according to nature, and who often gave me an example of this
in all its reality.
And so, as far as the Gods are concerned, by their
acts of generosity, their help and their inspirations, I have everything I need
to live as nature wants, and that, if I am still far from the goal, I have only
myself to blame, for not listening to their counsel, and I could repeat their
lessons.
If my body has, until this time, withstood the
demands of such a life; if I have touched neither Benedicta nor Theodotus —
these are no doubt the names of servants attached to the interior of the palace
—; if later, delivered to the passions of love, I was able to cure myself; if
in my frequent bouts of rage against Rusticus, I have never done anything that
I regret; if my mother, who was to die in the bloom of her youth, was able,
however, to pass her last years with me; if, on the occasions when I have
wanted to help someone in need of money, or in any other difficulty, I have
never heard myself say that I was not able to have the funds necessary for my
purpose; if the need to receive anything of the kind from others has never
weighed on me; if my wife is of an unassuming, affectionate and simple nature;
if I was able to come across so many excellent people for the education of my
children; if remedies have been revealed to me in my dreams, especially against
the coughing up of blood and vertigo, at Gaeta as well as at Chryse; if, in my
passion for philosophy, I have not fallen into the hands of some sophist; if I
did not get hung up on the works of some writer, or on the solution of
syllogisms, or on the quest for celestial phenomena; so many advantages can
come only with the help of the Gods and from the graces they deign to grant.
Written in the land of the Quadi, beside the Gran
river.
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